Facing Your Fears

Courtesy of johnnyberg

Being an author isn't for the faint-hearted. Putting yourself and your work out there can be hard. Terrifying. Nerve-racking.

Especially now, when it's more important than ever for an author to have a public persona on the Internet. As a shy introvert, public speaking ranks right up there with impaling myself in the eyeball with bamboo skewers.

My fears, for the most part, divide themselves into two categories: not being enough and being too much.

Not Being Enough

I am made of dragon hide when it comes to getting critiques back from my beta readers and crit partners. I prefer the crits that highlight what I need to fix, because those kinds of crits give me a clear game plan for making my story shine. So I love red ink.

For manuscripts, that is.

Before I put my novel up, I never truly realized how scary it is to have a novel available for anyone to read. As a writer, I know that no novel is perfect, and that no single story is going to appeal to everyone. As an author, my nails are raw because I just *know* that every single wrinkle, blemish, and imperfection is now going to be magnified, and everyone will see it and know that I have failed somehow as a writer.

Sometimes the writer side of me wonders about this new author side. ;-)

So what can you do when you don't feel like you're enough?

Have a good support system. I can't stress this one enough. These are the people that remind you to breathe, and that everything is going to be all right. They can believe in you when you're jar of belief is empty. Some of these people will be cheerleaders, while others will not only be able to sympathize, but empathize as well. Where can you find likely candidates for your support system?

• writing forums
• blogs
• other social networking places (Facebook, Twitter, etc.)
• family
• friends
• colleagues
• neighbors

Not feeling like you're enough is natural, but like those insidious dandelion/sticker patch combos, it's a good idea not to let them take over your emotional yard. How to combat the weeds?

• have a good support system ;-)
• don't base your self-worth on external factors over which you have no control
• forget about numbers (as much as you can)--they'll only make you crazy
• find a hobby that relaxes you
• exercise
• do something you enjoy
• reset your mental tapes
• get good sleep at night
• do something nice for someone else
• read a good book
• meditate

The number of things you can do is endless, but the important thing is that they fill you up somehow. It is very true that we are our harshest critics, and now is as good a time as any to learn how to be more gentle and kind to ourselves. I've learned that when my feeling of inadequacy has me crawling out of my skin, it's time to take a break from being an author so I can go back to being a person. :)

One of the greatest tools I've discovered in combating the I-stink-and-who-was-I-really-kidding-anyway doldrums is to make sure I'm managing my expectations. I need to reevaluate to make sure that I'm only worrying about the things I *can* control. Like pushing myself to write to the best of my ability. Editing, editing, editing, and editing. I can't control sales, and I can't control reviews, but I can make sure I'm putting in the time and effort necessary to make the novel the very best I can.

Being Too Much

And then there's the flip side of the coin--being afraid of being too much. I'm not talking about the fear of dazzling every reader and reviewer out there with my sparkling wit and scintillating stories. No, I'm talking about the putting-myself-out-there-so-you-know-I-exist part of being an author, otherwise known as marketing.

As a writer, I just want to appease the voices in my head and get their stories down on paper to the best of my ability. As an author, I want to let people know those stories exist. The trick is finding the balance between becoming a hermit in a cave (although this can sound very tempting) and broadcasting yourself like a commercial. It's a bit like tightrope walking on a planet whose gravity hasn't made up its mind as to which direction it prefers to pull in.

Some things I've discovered that help me find my balance:

• Institute a 5:1 tweet/fb ratio (I get to talk about myself every 1 in 5 tweets.)
• Don't go it alone--group blogs are becoming ever more popular.
• Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is my writing career. Take a day at a time, instead of expecting instant fame and success.
• Understand the nature of social networking. The people I love to hang around with on Twitter or Facebook are people I've been able to get to know, because they're human on their feeds. Not commercials.
• Dare to say something. It's okay to ask for help whether it's advice you're seeking or trying to schedule a blog tour. The writing community is filled with awesome people who like to help each other out. But they can't read minds, and can only help if you ask them.
• Don't be afraid to take a step back when you need to. Being both a writer and an author can be draining, so it's good to step away from the Internet when you need to in order to replenish yourself. I've been away from all my Internet networking places for about two weeks, and can promise you that they don't disappear and you won't be forgotten if you need to take an extended vacation to preserve your sanity.
• Be a hand that helps lift others. This kind of goes along with not being afraid to ask for help. I love good stories, and am always looking for gems that I can share on my blog or through Twitter. Sometimes, instead of waiting around for the party to come to me, I try to seek out the authors so I can host them and help spread the word about both them and their novels. Don't be afraid to ask if you can help others. I've met some incredible people this way.

So there you have it. Putting yourself out there as an author is hard, but can also be incredibly rewarding. What are some of the things you do when you're wearing your author hat?

 Danyelle Leafty (@danyelleleafty) writes MG and YA fantasy. In her spare time, she collects dragons, talking frogs, and fairy godmothers. She can be found discussing the art of turning one's characters into various animals, painting with words, and the best ways to avoid getting eaten by dragons on her blog.

Fear, Rejection, & Writer's Block: Guest Post by Gene Perret

Today we're thrilled to welcome Gene Perret, a legendary writing authority -- he's won three Emmys! Gene was the head writer for the Bob Hope and Carol Burnett shows, and was also responsible for episodes of well-know sitcoms like Three's Company and Welcome Back Kotter.


More than most, Gene appreciates how important it is for a writer to be able to handle fear, rejection, and writer's block, and over time he's developed a system for starting and finishing great projects. Now he's sharing that system with you in a new book: WRITE YOUR BOOK NOW! A Proven System to Start and FINISH the Book You've Always Wanted to Write.


I have to tell you -- I'm pretty excited about this book. Even though I was lucky enough to see an electronic ARC, I rushed over to Amazon to order a hard copy for my library. As you'll see below, Gene is both upbeat and practical as a coach -- you'll want a copy, too!

Shakespeare once wrote, “Doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.” It’s one of the best definitions I’ve ever read for the phenomenon we call “writer’s block.” Fear, or doubt as Shakespeare put it, generates writer’s block. We fear that we won’t be able to write what we want to write as well as we want to write it. We fear that even if we do write it, no worthwhile agent or publisher would be interested in it. We fret that even if we did sell and publish our work, none of the readers would like it. Basically, we allow ourselves to be creatively paralyzed by a fear of rejection. We lose “the good we might win by fearing to attempt.”

Writers must realize that rejection is as much a part of writing as the space bar on your keyboard. To be productive we must accept, rather than fear rejection. Certainly a negative response is usually not pleasant, but neither is it catastrophic. It simply is.

One of my writing colleagues claimed that we writers were the only people so self-involved that we named an affliction after ourselves – writer’s block. He said, “Imagine that you’re taking a cross country trip. You fight the crowds and the security inconveniences at the airport. You sit in a cramped airline seat for four or five hours, you arrive at your destination, struggle to get your luggage from the conveyor belt, haul it outside, hail a cab, load the luggage into the vehicle, sit in the back seat, and say to the driver, ‘Take me to the Hilton.’ The driver then turns to you and says, ‘Gee, I’m sorry, Pal, but I’ve got cab-drivers block.’ You’d clobber him with your briefcase.”

There’s no such thing as cab-driver’s block, or plumber’s block, or librarian’s block. There’s only writer’s block because we’re the ones who sometimes begin our task afraid that it will be rejected.

Notice that most of the apprehensions we have concern events in the future. When the manuscript is completed it may not be as superb as we would prefer. Publishers may not want it. Readers may not like it. Why are we deciding now whether the book that is not even written has been written well or poorly? Why are we making management decisions for publishers about a manuscript that they don’t have so they can’t decide about? Why are we assuming what our readers will like before they have anything to read? Forget those fears-to-come. Write your manuscript now and deal with probably mythical roadblocks if and when they occur.

The word “rejection” does have a decidedly negative connotation. That “Thank you, but no thank you” letter or e-mail is unpleasant. It’s disappointing. It’s demoralizing. It’s depressing. It’s all of those and more. At least in our minds and emotions, it is. However, let’s analyze some of the myths about rejection and perhaps diminish the power of its sting.

First, you’ll always have to deal with it. That may not sound very encouraging, but if you as a writer are prepared for a percentage of refusals, they won’t come as a shock. If you’re ready for them they won’t be nearly as unpleasant, disappointing, demoralizing, depressing, or whatever.

Second, turn-downs are not necessarily a condemnation of your writing, your talent, or your potential. As a television producer I once had to audition performers for a single role in a single episode of our sitcom. Agents sent in 20 actors. The math is fairly obvious – one girl would get the role, 19 would not. That doesn’t mean that 19 of the actors were incompetent. It simply indicated that one performer would be hired and 19 would not. In fact, our staff debated for several hours over which performer to hire – many were that good.

There are countless reasons why publishers may refuse your submission. Their schedule is full, their budget is exhausted, they have a similar book in the works, your idea may conflict with the publisher’s established authors, it may be wrong for this specific publisher, publisher may not agree with your concept, they may feel their company is not suited to handle this type of book, or they may just hate the book. Most of those reasons (except for that last one) have nothing to do with your work, or your writing ability.

Third, a rejection is not personal. As they said frequently in “The Godfather,” it’s strictly business.

Fourth, a rejection can often turn into a blessing. Refer back to the case I cited above with the 20 performers all vying for one job. The following year, I produced another sitcom and needed a performer to appear regularly on the show. One of the “rejectees” was hired. Rather than getting a paycheck for one show, she received a salary for several years on the new show.

It can work that way for writers, too. One publisher rejected a proposal of mine, but suggested another book that he would like me to write. I had already written this book but had abandoned it because it had been rejected by several publishers. Now I got a sale through a rejection. Not only did I sell the book, but I didn’t even have to write it. It was already written. Is that not a blessing?

Fifth, no rejection can stop you from producing new writing, and you shouldn’t allow it to. Give yourself a few hours or even days of self-pity (and maybe even calling certain publishers or editors nasty names), but then get back to the keyboard and turn out more solid writing.

I liked the positive way that one writer handled rejection. At a party I overheard him discussing the negotiations for a book of his. He said, “We’re still working things out. I’m demanding a $200,000 advance, and the publisher is refusing to read my manuscript.”

That’s the positive approach we all should adopt.

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Thanks again to Gene for his wonderful advice!  If you'd like to check out the next leg of Gene's blog tour, he'll be appearing on Susan Perry's Psychology Today blog Creating in Flow tomorrow!