Glass Houses, Elephants, and the Internet

Image courtesy of Chemtec

The internet is a glass house crammed full of elephants.

No, really. It is. The Internet is a place that's fairly transparent--unless you happen to cavort on the Interwebs in a mask and sparkly cape. But as writers who are hoping to go pro in the business, if we're going to be on the Internet, we tend to go dressed as ourselves so people can find us. 

Because we want to be found.

This isn't a bad thing in and of itself. The danger, I think, is that sometimes it's easy to get too comfortable. After all, we're not really standing in a room full of strangers making witty conversation. We're typing away on an empty screen with the hope that the people we're connecting to are real people who live outside the computer. Sometimes it's easy to get too personal, too transparent.

Because it's so easy to forget about all those elephants crammed in the room with us.

But, see, elephants don't forget. Neither does the Internet. Someone web savvy enough can likely find anything that's ever come through the front door, the windows, and that side door we've never noticed until now. And that goes for deleted things to. So that really bad rejection letter, that day when everything went wrong and you're just itching to kick something--those are the times when it's wise to step away from the computer.

Here are some simple rules to keep those elephants from accidentally taking a step back and squashing you, because, well, being squished by an elephant is kind of permanent too.

Set Up Some Boundaries  

Boundaries are important. They aren't about other people, they're about what you'll do in any given situation. So it's good to start with some boundaries when you go on line. What will you talk about? What won't you talk about? How will you respond to people? For me, I don't really talk much about politics or religion. I have plenty of opinions on them, but I save those discussions for real life. Also, I don't put up pictures of my kids, name them, or even really discuss them. (There are some really weird people out there.) And I don't give out much personal information. Sometimes that last one is a tricky line to walk. As people, we want to get to know each other, see what we're thinking or talking about, and what's going on. We all like to connect. But some things fall under the category of Too Much Information. Like gallbladder surgery or that strange fungus growing between your toes. Let's just not go there. :)

The Golden Rule 


Remember that rule about doing unto others? Well, this one can save you from becoming an elephant imprint. If you want people to visit your blog/insert-social-media-preference-here, then start by visiting theirs. And commenting. If you want people to be gracious to you and your book, be gracious about theirs. Yes, there will always be Amazon reviewers in the world, but you've written a book that rocks, and the Discerning Public will see that. Reviewers or no reviewers. If you host contests or whatnot and you want people to spread the word, be sure to do the same for others. The Internet is a glass house, and people will notice even if you don't know they're noticing.

Remember What Your Mother Always Said 


That thing about not saying something if you don't have something nice to say is especially applicable when dealing with delicate breakables and large land mammals. Because the way you portray yourself online is the way the rest of us peeping into your house see you. One of my favorite movies of all time is Harvey. (Major paraphrasing to follow.) At one point the main character muses about his past. He told the doctor that his mother had told him that he had two choices in life. He could be oh, so clever or oh, so nice. Well, he'd spent thirty-five years being clever, and decided he'd much rather be nice. As writers, we have the ability to shape words into whatever we want. Shape them wisely.

Be Genuinely Yourself 


And last, but not least, be your very best self. That's who the people standing in your flower bed with their faces pressed up against the wall of your glass house want to see and get to know*. That's what keeps us coming back. There is a risk in being yourself, but I think with all the truly awesome people there are out there, the risk is worth it.

And if I had to condense all of this into one sentence: Be your best self, make sure you've got a nice picket fence around the house, and buy peanuts in bulk.

What's your take on glass houses and elephants?

* Okay, if we were talking about real houses, this would be downright creepy and stalkerish in which case I'd advise building your house out of something a little more opaque than glass. And securing a few restraining orders. But no worries. This is just a metaphor. :)

Danyelle collects dragons, talking frogs, and fairy godmothers in her spare time. She is currently getting ready to query SLIPPERS OF PEARL, a YA fantasy. She also enjoys making new friends, and can be found at http://myth-takes.blogspot.com.