Publishing Pulse: 6/5/09

New Agents on QueryTracker.net

Andy Ross  of the Andy Ross Literary Agency represents nonfiction exclusively.

David Fugate  of Launchbooks Literary Agency also represents nonfiction exclusively.

So does Gillian MacKenzie  of the Gillian MacKenzie Agency.

Amanda Cardinale  of The Park Literary Group represents both fiction and nonfiction.  Her fiction interests include women's and multicultural fiction, family sagas, historical fiction, and short story collections.

Erika Recordon  at the Robin Straus Agency represents literary fiction and narrative nonfiction.


Tips, News, and Other Interesting Info From Around the 'Net



Fantasy author David Eddings passed away this week at the age of 77.  According to author Stephen Hunt, Eddings "paved the way for a whole generation of doorstopper sized fantasy series."  Read more here .

The Guide to Literary Agents blog tackles the question: What are the best writers' conferences in the US? 

The Great American Pitchfest in Los Angeles is only one week away!  Pitchfest is a free one-day "screenwriting conference with more than 30 free classes" and opportunities to pitch ideas and shows to industry executives.  Find out more here.

.Fangs, Fur, and Fey asked what readers want to see on a writer's website.  Lots of readers answered!  You'll find inspiration (and some great caveats) in the comments.  (And of course I have to put in a mention for Purple Squirrel web design if you should need a site and don't feel like designing it yourself.)

Borders books has launched a new sf/f blog called Babel Clash.  Nothing too exciting going on right now, but if you're a Kim Harrison  fan, check it out.  She's one of the bloggers.

Have a great weekend, and we'll see you next week!



Dr. Carolyn Kaufman is a clinical psychologist and professor residing in Columbus, Ohio. A published writer, she runs Archetype Writing: Psychology for Fiction Writers and an associated blog. She is often quoted by the media as an expert resource. 

Grand Prize

First off, I would like to thank all the QTers out there who have made the last two years such a success. QueryTracker would be nothing without you

Two years ago, I was having lunch with a good friend, and we were discussing how difficult it is to keep track of all the queries we had out. Yes, back then I actually had something to query. But it wasn't going well. As the number of rejections piled up, it was getting harder and harder to remember who we already queried and who we hadn't. Shaking my head, I said, "Wouldn't it be nice if we could check off the agent's names right there on the website as we queried them." And then I said, "Wait a minute. I'm a programmer. I can do that. Why not? What's holding me back? Certainly not my writing career."

So, that is how QueryTracker was conceived-- In a Pizza Hut in Billings, Montana. Not the most glamorous of beginnings, but I can think of worse.

And now, two years later, we have over 15,000 members and I have to pick one of them as our grand prize winner. That winner will receive a free, custom designed website from Purple Squirrel Web Design (no relation to purple prose).

Every person who entered any of our contests during the carnival was entered into the drawing, as was anyone who voted for the King & Queen, voted in the Purple Prose Contest, or who posted a link to the carnival on their website or blog. Then, after all the names were gathered, we selected one at random. And the lucky winner is...

Wait. Have I told you about Pizza Hut yet? All right, all right. No more delays.

The lucky winner posted a carnival link on her blog, and her name is Myra McEntire.

Let's all give Myra a big hand, and maybe get her to say a few words. Myra?

And now that the carnival is over, I hope you will all stick around because now the QT Blog can get back to normal. Which means the QT Bloggers can continue to provide informative and fun articles for writers on the query path.

Speaking of the QT Bloggers, I would also like to take this opportunity to thank them for the fine work they do on the blog.

Now it's time to get started on Myra's website, and we'll let everyone know when it is done so you can have a look.

Thank you to all who participated in our anniversary carnival, and good luck with your writing careers.

QT King and Queen Crowned

Welcome to the ceremony crowning our readers' most beloved agents! The votes are in, so let's roll out the red carpet.

I give you the QueryTracker Queen:

Joanna Stampfel-Volpe
Nancy Coffey Literary

"I want to nominate Joanna Stampfel-Volpe for queen. In the small dealings I’ve had with her she’s been really personable and she just comes across as a super easy-going person. Nuff said ;)"

"I nominate Joanna Stampfel-Volpe of the Nancy Coffey Literary Management Agency. She has a keen knack for knowing what works and doesn't work. She's in tune with the publishing world and what readers want. Her nurturing way helps guide her clients to success while making good choices for editors and publishers. She is definitely an asset to the publishing world."

"Joanna Stampfel-Volpe. Joanna is amazing. She takes the time to give loads of feedback and encouragement to aspiring authors even when she's going to ultimately reject the MS. She's smart, young and hungry - everything you'd want in an agent."

"Joanna, of course."

"I spoke with Joanna on the phone for a long time, and I'm tellin' ya, she's a class act."

"You will not meet a more upbeat person than Joanna Stampfel-Volpe. We're all scared of emailing agents, afraid we'll do or say the wrong thing and forever end up in their bad graces. It's even worse when you think of actually having to talk to an agent on the phone! With Joanna there is nothing to worry about. It's like she sees every correspondence in the best possible light. It's almost like you can't say anything wrong to her. She's not my agent, but I guarantee, anyone who is lucky enough to be repped by her has won the agent lottery!"

And the QueryTracker King:

Nathan Bransford
Curtis Brown Ltd.
"Nathan's blog is like the Softer Side of Sears. He is one of the most informative and frequent agent bloggers, and I've learned a ton from his posts, and also his weekly updates on what's going on in the publishing world. Pair that with the QT blog, and I'm set for life!"

"What Nathan brings to the table is he respects how hard it is to deal with the "no response means no," and he promises to answer every query. This is becoming more and more rare, and I really appreciate the extra time he takes to help potential writers."

"His blog is absolutely awesome and offers all kinds of advice from querying to just random interviews! It's very helpful and I love the humor!"

"I would like to nominate Nathan Bransford for Query Tracker King because I love to follow his blog and he seems to be very concerned with giving writers a chance. I got to meet him in person at the last conference I went to, and he was so nice about answering all the writers' questions (even the crazy ones). :)"

"King- Nathan Branford: because he has the most informative website, contests that are fun and always a learning experience, and a wit that is unbeatable."

"My pick for favorite agent is Nathan Bransford. He doesn't represent my genre and therefore won't be on my query list, but he is STILL my favorite agent so that says a lot! His blog is inspiring and informative, and he seems genuinely interested in helping out new writers."

The royalty weigh in!

Thanks for this honor! I really appreciate everyone's kind words. As King, my first order of business is more beef jerky for all.

Queen? Me? Well, I never!

I have so many people to thank...but first order of business: Beef jerky? Nathan, I say...let them eat cake.

Congratulations to our winners, and many thanks to all who voted!

Keep your eye on the blog tomorrow. The winner of the Grand Prize of a website from Purple Squirrel Web Design will be announced!

Suzette Saxton's idea of a perfect day includes a picnic lunch, laughing children, and her laptop. When she's not writing books for kids, Suzette can be found gardening, doing finish carpentry in her home, or walking in the canyon in which she lives.

Click to visit her blog.

The Best of The Worst

Holy laughing gas, the entries for the World's Worst Query Letter contest were amazing! Before we get to the winners, I have to post some of the most rib-tickling lines from individual query letters. These made my day, made me smile, and/or made me spew soda right on the screen. If one of them comes from your query letter, consider yourself a winner!

I use grammar and punctuation very loosely and creatively, giving my novel an original voice.

Don't take this as a threat but I sent this to 368 other very carefully researched agents so you best hurry up with that contract!

I am a master of those sometimes annoying “25 Thing” notes on Facebook.

I don't want to get a new puppy because you have to go through that whole shoe chewing thing.

Capesh?

I could probably be one myself, do you guys make a lot of money?

I repeated two grades, so they let me enter extra times.

Hey Pretty Lady!

This book is going to be wibbletastic (my book is so great I had to make up a word to describe it!).

I’ve already finished writing the first twenty books of the series, and planned to do at least fifty more.

Now's your chance to get even.

Word to your mother,

I forgot to mention that I enclosed a rose and a few trinkets from my homeland.

Some might think that the story is close to the book Charlotte’s Web but I assure you that it is different.

I was going to use the Austrailia Yowie at first but I haven't been to Austrailia yet and didn’t know what it looked like but I went to mexico once and visited a really cool pueblo for spring break where they told this super cool story about the Chupacabra and its always stuck with me.

I myself am qualified to write this equerry for her because I just decorated my house in the victorian style.

I learned to type in high school.

Dear Big E. (You don’t mind me calling you that do you?),

I’ve also read it out loud to my many many cats (pictures enclosed), and they loved it two.

I am attaching all of my book, even though my computer has had a few virus problems, as long as you have McAfee or something similar, it shouldn’t be any problem to download my book.

I’m uniquely qualified to write this fiction novel because I love too eat ketchup (I keep packets in my car for a snack while driving to my job at the IRS.)

So, what did you think of the latest Star Trek movie?


Aren’t those lines great? They all came from different letters so you can see the “quality” of the worst that we got!

Here are the winners!

First place: Query Critique by Jim McCarthy of Dystel and Goderich. (See what he's looking for below.)
The winner had me on the floor, clutching my ribs and horse-laughing just with the title. Or maybe it was the booty shorts. Either way, the winner is Justina Ireland!

Dear Dream Grantor,

I am writing you at the recommendation of the girl who sits next to you in yoga class, the one who wears the booty shorts. She read an early copy of my manuscript and told me I should forward it to you.

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be abducted by aliens that look like Zach Ephron, taken to their home planet, and used as part of their breeding program?

I have and do, so I have written TAKEN TO AN ALIEN PLANET POPULATED BY ZACH EPHRON CLONES AND THE OCCAISIONAL GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE THE HOT GUY FROM GOSSIP GIRL AND USED FOR SEXY STUFF, a novel complete at 130,000 words.

The novel is a semi-autobiographical account of what happens when an average girl from Ohio is kidnapped by an alien who looks like Zach Ephron and taken to his home planet for sexy stuff. The planet is almost exactly like the High School Musical town, only without women.

My novel is the next Angels and Demons, and readers have commented that “it’s like Lord of the Flies, only better. With, you know, hotter guys.” User qtpie34 on the Zach Ephron fansite called it “hawter than a 1000 suns. Srsly.” My mother said it was so good it made her cry, and my pastor called it “The most amazing thing I have ever read since the Bible.”

I have been writing seriously for the past four years and have gotten gold stars on every paper since my freshman year. Last year I wrote an essay on Jane Eyre and my English teacher thought it rocked. I’ve also been named best hair by the school newspaper and on MySpace. On Facebook I got an award for biggest sweetheart.

Thank you for taking the time to consider this. The complete novel is attached. You can check out my website at www.kandihart.blogspot.com or friend me on Facebook, I’m Kandi Hart O-girl.

Thanx so much!

Second Place: One Year Free QT Premium Membership
The genres in this one had me rolling. And the winner is... Christauna Asay!

Yo Mr./Mrs. Agent/Editor whom it may concern,

I’ve been writing this fiction novel for fifty-nine years and figured I’d let you be the lucky one to have it. It is 10,789 pages long (single spaced) and I wrote it for a completely new audience as it has science fiction, history, romance, mystery, non-fiction, splatter punk, horror, western, and pretty much encompasses all of the genre’s out there. This is for sure the next Twilight.

Why would someone want to buy poo? Why would Mina leave the comfy confines of her comfy home on a comfy quest of this sort? My fiction novel is about this one girl, which is sort of like me since my life has been really interesting. The main character is really in love with this one guy and he totally likes her but aliens take him away and she spends the rest of the book pining away for him on her comfy ranch.

I have 12 dogs and 25 squirrels and we live on a ranch in California where I write only when the fancy takes me. It took me a long time to write this book since I don’t think creativity should be rushed. I’ve started on a sequel that I’m hoping will be as long and as good as this one. I never really went to school but I think it helps with my writing. I use grammar and punctuation very loosely and creatively, giving my novel an original voice. I met this movie star once who told me I should write a story about my life and she would totally play a main role in the movie. So I wrote the book and even though I haven’t been able get in contact with the movie star again, I hoped you would since you’re an agent/editor.

My mother and best friend told me this was the best book they ever read in their lives and they read lots and lots of books. They said it was better than Twilight and Harry Potter put together. Here’s what one of them said, “My little girl is so talented that anyone who rejects her will probably receive cookies laced with arsenic in the mail.” Arsenic is her secret ingredient. I think with the book being so long, lots of people will like it since they’ll have a lot more to read.

I am including my entire manuscript. I know you only want a query, but since I know you’ll love it from the first page to the last page I’m sending the whole thing in an extra large box with lots of glitter for your entertainment. I don’t have email or a phone but you can call me between the hours of 5:15 a.m. and 5:36 a.m. at the store near my home. I’ll be waiting by the phone everyday until I hear from you.

Peace out,

Third place: Steve Weber’s book, Plug Your Book: Online Marketing for Authors.
Congrats to Amy Sonnichsen!

To Whoever This Stroke of Genius May Concern:

"Snarling, snatching, dreaming, matching
Holding, pleasing everyone, but not hatching"

That is an excerpt from my book, which is a book made up of lots of little clever, cute rhymes. I just included that one to wet your whistle (*grin*). The book is called POEMS FROM SOUTH DAKOTA: A PERSONAL MEMOIRE WRITTEN ENTIRELY IN CLEVER CUTE RHYMES FROM THE HEART AND MIND OF MELISSA LLOYD LAMBELLA and is completely finished at 11,622 words.

Melissa Lloyd Lambella is my nome de plum (sp?) because I dont want people to recognize my real name, because then I'd be in the grocery store writing a check and the clerk would start yelling, "Are you serious? Are! You! Serious? You can't be Chrissy Sue Miller! Not the one who wrote POEMS FROM SOUTH DAKOTA: A PERSONAL MEMOIRE WRITTEN ENTIRELY IN CLEVER CUTE RHYMES FROM THE HEART AND MIND OF CHRISSY SUE MILLER!!" And then I'd have to explain AGAIN that I WAS THAT Chrissy Sue Miller, sign autographs, yadda yadda yadda.

And -- segway (sp?) -- I WILL be famous. TRUST ME. I live in South Dakota, which is a HUGE NICHE MARKET. And I will drive whereever I have to drive (as long as the money comes in soon enough to buy me a new car, 'cause the one I have now ain't gettin' there) to make sure this book sells. And believe me, IT WILL SELL.

WHY? Because there's nothing else like it out there. This is an absolutely NEW IDEA. NOBODY has thought of putting their life out there in front of the world in clever cute rhymes before. And that's what America wants. America wants NEW. NEW sells. Right now I work in the shoe department of a large department store. The women that come in want NEW. NEW SELLS SHOES. NEW SELLS BOOKS.

I know after reading this you're going to be hitting that REPLY button as fast as your little finger can hit it. Because you want to read MORE of what I have in STORE (*wink*). To save you the trouble, I'm just going to slip my ENTIRE MEMOIRE in the padded UPS envelope (and a few HOMEGROWN BEETS for you and your pals at the office to munch in your spare time). Just let me know when you're ready and we'll be on the road to publication and BIG BUCKS in no time.

And if for some reason I don't hear back SOON, just know that I have seven or ten other agents who are DROOLING over this book. They are CLAMMERING for it. I told them to wait until I heard back from YOU, so take the hint and feel special.

Dying to hear back...... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Now, if you didn't win, never fear! Mr. McCarthy is actively building his client list. Send your not-so-worst (that means best, well-edited, and serious) query to him. Here's what he's looking for.

As an avid fiction reader, his interests encompass both literary and commercial, adult and young adult works. He is particularly interested in women's fiction, underrepresented voice, mysteries, romance, paranormal fiction, and anything unusual or unexpected. In addition to fiction he is also interested in narrative nonfiction, humor, memoir, paranormal nonfiction, and anything related to architecture, planning, or real estate.

QT Blackout Contest Winners

QueryTracker's longest blackout is well-behind us now, and we can finally laugh about it.

Laugh outrageously hard, if given the chance to read what the QueryTracker community came up with for their one paragraph essays on "How I survived the QueryTracker Blackout."

I know people say it all the time, but it was seriously SO hard to make a decision on this one when we received so many worthy entries.

So without further ado:

First prize, a query letter critique by Lindsay Davis of Writer's House...

Goes to Mercedes M. Yardley!

I remember the Query Tracker Blackout of 2009 like it was only last week. It was a tough time, but I’m a tough woman. The first thing I did was throw a blanket over my head and pretend that I was camping. When one is camping in the woods, one can’t possibly surf over to Query Tracker, can one? One also can’t do the same thing when one is suffocated. I ditched the blanket and moved on to the next stage of grief…er, coping by doing the following Very Adult Thing: I cursed. I cursed like a demon, like a pirate, and like great-grandpas who are known for their cursing. I even stamped my foot once, hard. This hurt my tender heel, thereby swinging me into a new bout of cursing. Then I begged QT not to leave me. Ever. I promised to be kind to it, to only check it one or two times a day. I apologized for smothering it. I confessed that I’d be agentless forever without it, and oh my, doesn’t QT look simply stunning in purple? But there was no answer. I fell on the floor and stared at the ceiling. A life frittered away on looking agents up page by tedious page without outside help simply wasn’t a life worth living. “Take me, afterlife, I’m yours!” I screamed. Then I realized that Query Tracker would most likely come back up in the future. Nothing is really forever. And I had made some fresh cookies, and they certainly wouldn’t last forever, either. I pulled myself together and forced myself to make the long trek to the cookie jar. I had to be strong. I had to look to the future. I had to recheck QT’s main page another 2000 times that day, promises of “giving it space” be hung.

Second prize, a year of QT Premium Membership.

Goes to Jim Duncan!

Frustrated beyond belief (ok, not really, but who doesn't need an excuse to do something absurd), I spent the first several hours tracking down where these server folks were hiding out. Discovering they were rather conveniently located in the back room of my local Waffle House Diner, I proceeded to do what any irate internet geek would do. I packed up my army of mechanical garden gnomes and proceeded to lay siege. Garden gnomes as you most assuredly know, are both ingeniously clever and easily distracted. Once the front gates of the server vaults had been breeched, I was forced to spend the wee hours of the morning berating my lieutenants to keep my server repair crew on the task at hand and stop turning pancakes into aerial assault vehicles. Needless to say, the servers were successfully brought back on line, and I have only now finished hosing off the syrup after the celebratory pancake war ensued. Happy querying everyone!

Third Prize, Steve Weber's Plug Your Book: Online Book Marketing for Authors

Goes to Ed Conte!

Sure, according to Webster’s, I “remained alive” and you might even say I “continued to function” during the Great QT blackout of 2009--despite the hardship and deprivation of losing the indispensable link to my essential agent data base and publishing network. I experienced a set of symptoms so strange and incongruent with my objective to generate and dispatch 10 queries that day. I knew I’d have to find a different focus during that down period…not knowing for how long I’d have to restructure my priorities. I found some release reading obscure blogs on the history of cursive writing and the origins of broccoflour. Checking back more frequently than I ought reveal to see if the QT server was up, I used the intervals between QueryTracker website inspections to read ship manifests of Ellis Island immigrant records and to see if I had outlived high school and college classmates on the Social Security Death Index. I became obsessed with survival and knew I needed to take a break from the computer. Drawn to the garden I began to look for others signs of new life and endurance…any symbol of growth and resilience to carry me through the blackout. I made it and so did the a head of that hybrid, pale green vegetable cluster…broccoflour…on my dinner plate that night as a pristine icon of survival in the computer age.

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who entered for a lot of laughs!

And big thanks to Lindsay Davis, who generously donated a query critique for our first prize winner!

Lindsay Davis is a literary agent at Writers House. Before joining the agency, she worked in the children's marketing department at Harcourt and taught fourth grade as a member of Teach for America. For the past three years, Lindsay has apprenticed with Steven Malk in the West Coast office of Writers House, where she's had the opportunity to work with some of the very best authors and artists in the industry. She's now building her own list and is actively seeking picture book, middle grade, and young adult manuscripts. She's always been passionate about children's and young adult literature, and, as an agent, she's eager to help bring fresh voices, characters and stories to a new generation of readers.

Anagram Contest Winners

Congratulations to all who played in our anagram contest. Wow, were those hard. I wish I could have given everyone a prize for figuring them out.

In case you were wondering, the solutions are:

1.Teachers nag = agent search (or reach agents)

2. Stiff vipers age = first five pages

3. Ill nasal updrafts = partials and fulls

4. Serene grunge band = genre and sub genre

5. Rotund cow = word count

6. Eject forlorn termites = form rejection letters (or form letter rejections)

7. In font of citric onion = fiction or non fiction

8. Matron standoffs = fonts and formats

9. Innocence grew first = writing conferences

10. Deb is using limousines = submission guidelines

11. Rotary hug phobia = author biography

12. A Millionaire Slam = snail mail or email

13. Replayed Snore Quiz = personalized query

14. Hello Nook Religion = hook line or log line

15. Hmm Remember Quip Tips = QT premium membership


And the winners are...

First Place: Ash Krafton, who wins a query critique by literary agent Kae Tienstra

Second Place: Colleen Rowan Kosinski, wins one year of QT Premium Membership

Third Place: Christy Tohara, will receive a copy of Plug Your Book! Online Book Marketing for Authors by Steve Weber.

Thank you to everyone for playing, and come back tomorrow to see who won our "How You Survived the Blackout" Contest.

Purple Prose Contest Winners

The winners were determined by voting over the last week.  Please remember that in order to win, the sentences had to be purple (overwritten).

First place receives a query critique by literary agent, Jon Tienstra.  

First place--Rachelle J. Christensen:

11. When he heard about the empurpled contest on Query Tracker, the coils of dark, multitudinous hair which made up his eyebrows knit together in fury, like a spry grandmother’s knitting needles, clicking incessantly and rapidly, the sun’s rays illuminating them with a silver gleam, like the gleam of a young child’s brand new bicycle bedecked in all its glory with lemon-colored streamers and chiffon paint with stripes of lavender that shimmered like the violet hue of his eyes which were now thoughtful; the wrinkles around his wide, pupil-inhabited orbs seemed pensive as he considered how he might win Query Tracker’s contest and emerge a champion like a magnificent Olympic sports-star—but not like Greg Luganis because he hit his head—instead his own powerful kind of win—the kind to fill a man’s soul with joy to overflowing like a large bowl of Rocky Road ice cream with ostentatious helpings of steaming hot fudge, but not butterscotch because it would contrast with the rich hues of the chocolate which was so sweet as would be his joy when he won—like a bareback rider in the National Rodeo Finals hanging on for dear life to a fraying strap of yellowed rope—he imagined this with fervor, gripping the gleaming pen in his hand as he began to write.

Our second place winner receives a free premium membership to QueryTracker (a $25 value).  

Second place--Amy Sonnichsen:

2.  Her laugh spilled from vermilion lips like a waterfall rushing, heaving, crashing into a deep cataract of stone, into a pool of endless depth, ringing eternally in the night air, stirring the music of the cicadas ebbing and flowing with their throbbing, undulating dirge in the deepening, empty darkness, as she smiled wistfully, her lips curling into a subtle, voluptuous hallow, like a half-moon draped provocatively over a deep-blue sofa amid the glowing, phosphorescent stars, and whispered with a breathy huskiness, "Query Tracker is having a carnival ... how delightful, dahling!"

  

We had a three-way tie for third place.  All will receive a copy of Plug Your Book! Online Book Marketing for Authors by Steve Weber.  

Third place: 

1. The stars twinkled above like tiny diamonds caught in the fabric of the night sky, or possibly they could have been fireflies stuck in the black expanse of the night, either way the stars twinkled and glittered like finely cut gems from the most expensive jewelry stores, the kind where people pass by and gaze with wonder through the glass windows as they wish for something incredible, wonderful, and unexpected to happen--just like they do on stars; so Querytracker, here's me wishing on those exquisite gems that are really giant balls of flaming gas situated farther from earth than I'm comfortable in traveling, that perhaps, if you are quite agreeable, that this dreadful purpleness that is not quite mauve may be acceptable to you. --by Danyelle Leafty

8. It began one sultry mid-August afternoon, whose ominous, bruised Manhattan skies and sweltering, stultifying Big Apple pavements drove yours truly into the air-conditioned comfort of Macys Fifth Avenue with no particular destination in mind, consumed, in fact, by idle thoughts of entering the Query-Tracker Purple Prose contest (though it seemed to me that given my dedication to prose clarity and syntactic precision, it was laughably improbable I could be physically or mentally or, for that matter, emotionally, capable of constructing such an entry, let alone do so in a manner calculated to achieve some sort of buffoonish recognition) when, out of the blue, I was seized unaccountably and without warning by the urge to embark upon a casual stroll through the ladies' lingerie department, unaware, sadly, that had I been adequately prepared — though, now, in twenty-twenty retrospective hindsight, through the cruel, pellucid lens of reality as well as the stark prism of senescence, I realize there could have been no such preparatory experience, and furthermore had I not at that very moment found myself sitting on a razorblade of indecision (lingerie? shoes? lingerie? shoes?) — I would have disdained notice of the mammiform apparition that exploded from the fetid bowels of a changing room – in front of which (I was subsequently required to explain to a battery of unsympathetic security personnel whose rude and intrusive conclusion-jumping and absence of good will spoke volumes) I'd happened to drop my car keys, and had as a consequence fallen to my knees in search of them — like a Wagnerian wood nymph whose diaphanous wings had been wickedly bound by mischievous gods and secured by a gilded undergarment that left so little to the imagination it evoked from within my innermost being a carnal ululation so intense and released a gushing flood of unabashed desire so overwhelming that I was sucked headlong into the maws of an enormous black hole of desire, thus occasioning what became, at length, one of the most profound mistakes of my entire life, that is to say, one whose reach and magnitude cannot be overstated, as — with the gravity of heavy water and the unabashed existential momentum of a meteor on an ineluctable trajectory presaging the utter destruction of life on this planet as we know it — I extended a hand palsied by desire and, my voice unable to suppress the husky susurrus emanating from stalactites of passion drip-dripping deep within the echoing caverns of my fevered id, I helplessly intoned, "Madam, my card!" --by Curt Snodgrass

13.  Carla professed to her shrink her feelings of paranoia, of being followed, tracked, even, like a bear in the woods followed by three bloodhounds, one more blood-thirsty than the other, until he discovered that her suspicions were warranted since Carla is listed as an agent on QueryTracker and therefore hundreds, if not thousands, of people were indeed tracking her every move. --by Pamela Hammonds

As with all our contests during our QueryTracker Carnival, every contest entry results in the participant's name going into the drawing for the grand prize: a free writer's website design by Purple Squirrel Design, a $600 value! (They designed my website, by the way.)

The QT Carnival has been so much fun for the blog authors.  We hope you guys have enjoyed it too.  Tomorrow, the Anagram Contest winners will be announced. 

Have a great week.

Mary

Mary Lindsey writes paranormal fiction for children and adults. Prior to attending University of Houston Law School, she received a B.A. in English Literature with a minor in Drama.

Mary can also be found on her website.