Today, I wanted to talk about the use of questions in queries. I’m not going to go Nathan Bransford on you (click here to see how he feels about opening with a question), or even Tina Wexler (who also has an opinion on questions to start a query), but those are great reads for opening your query with a question. Or rather, not opening your query with a question.
I posted on the QueryTracker forum a while back about starting with a question. A lot of people say don’t do it. But as I was researching for this post, these were the only two agents I could find who have actually said this. This hardly constitutes “a lot” even though Mr. Bransford is quite popular (and we love him here on the blog) and Ms. Wexler is nothing if not fabulous. So if you know of any more, please post their blog links in the comments.No, what this post is about is questions in the consequence section of your query. At the end. I’m going to go out on my limb and say: don’t do it.
Why?
Because the question can almost always be answered—and not in a good way. It’s not thrilling. It’s not a cliffhanger. It’s not enticing me to read more. And, you run the risk of the agent answering incorrectly. All of these are bad, in my opinion.
Let’s look at some examples. I made these up, so if you see any relation to your own work, it is purely coincidental.
Example: Will she make it in time?
Answer: *yawn* Yes. Form rejection.
Example: Will she follow the sexy Diesel and become the Dark Lord’s protégé, or will she use her abilities to save Vin, the man she has come to love?
Answer: Ugh. Who cares? Deletage.
Example: Will Clarence find the will to survive?
Answer: Undoubtedly, or you wouldn’t be writing it. And...reject.
Example: Can she outwit the murderer and find James in time?
Answer: Yes. Next.
I think asking a question as the consequence robs your entire query of power. You want that last section to be screaming “Read me! Request and read me now!” You don’t want the agent to already know what’s going to happen because you failed to entice them with a powerful ending sentence that includes a consequence.
So let’s change those blah’s into powerful statements.
Example: Will she make it in time?
Powerful statement with a consequence: Penna will have to find a way to outwit her tax advisor before he makes off with her ginormous return. If not, it won’t matter how much money she has—the dead don’t need accountants.
It must have a consequence. In this one, Penna will die if she doesn’t thwart her tax advisor. (Toldja I made these up.)
Example: Will she follow the sexy Diesel and become the Dark Lord’s protégé, or will she use her power to save Vin, the man she has come to love?
Powerful statement with a consequence: Annika is faced with the impossible choice: become Diesel’s protégé or use her abilities to save Vin. Either way, her newfound power could end up consuming her.
Example: Will Clarence find the will to survive?
Powerful statement with a consequence: Clarence must search inside himself to find the will to carry on or risk losing his daughter forever.
Example: Can she outwit the murderer and find James in time?
Powerful statement with a consequence: On the run from the mafia, Hannah will have to call the one person she detests—her father—in order to save James. Better that, than six feet under.
So here’s the QT Blog challenge: Open your query. We’ll wait. Read it. Any questions? Eliminate them. All of them. Write powerful statements instead. Questions should be saved for when you get The Call.
So…questions? (lol) Post them in the comments!
Or if you've got an aura of questioning about you today, don't sit down to write your query, simply click here to enter your questions in our current contest. We're dying (literally, dying) to hear from you!
