Character Connection

One of the most common reasons for rejecting a manuscript is when the agent or editor can’t connect with the main character. Sometimes this is subjective; other times it’s not. 

First you need a multi-dimensional, sympathetic character. Next you need to examine your Motivation Reaction Units (MRU). A Motivation can be an action, dialogue, or description that leads your character to react. For example, if you are walking toward your house and it explodes, the exploding house is the Motivation.  The Reaction is what YOU do in response.

The intensity of Reaction needs to match the intensity of the Motivation. If your house explodes, you’ll likely react with more than a mere shrug. If the Motivation is small and the Reaction is over the top, then you’ve got an issue with melodrama. 

Reaction can be action, dialogue, visceral reactions (e.g. heart rate), and/or inner dialogue. Visceral reactions (the body’s response that you can’t control) ALWAYS come first. The rest is up to you and your genre. But if you’re finding you are getting rejections because agents aren’t connecting with your character, you might want to examine your inner dialogue. It might not be enough. Remember, though, it needs to move the plot forward, not force it to sit still while your character contemplates the non-relevant. 

Read the following three versions of an excerpt from In the Dark of the Night by John Saul:

Version with no inner thoughts

“Guess what I have!” Ellen demanded. “You’re going to love it.” (Motivation)

Merrill’s eyes narrowed and she held out her hand. “Give.” (Reaction)

Version with most of the inner thoughts deleted

“Guess what I have!” Ellen demanded. “You’re going to love it.” (Motivation)

Merrill’s eyes narrowed as she ran through the possibilities, except that whatever it was was small enough to be held in one hand. (Reaction)

Merrill held out her hand. “Give.” (Reaction)

Version from the novel

“Guess what I have!” Ellen demanded. “You’re going to love it.” (Motivation)

Merrill’s eyes narrowed as she ran through the possibilities. With Ellen, everything was always wonderful, and everyone was always going to love everything, so she could be talking about almost anything. Except that whatever it was was small enough to be held in one hand. (Reaction)

Ellen Newell’s hands, of course, were larger than most, and stronger, too. Even though she was nowhere near her son’s size, she was just as good an athlete as Kent, and could still beat him at tennis without even breaking a sweat. If Ellen weren’t one of her best friends, Merrill knew she could have hated her. As it was, Merrill just held out her hand. “Give,” she said. (Reaction)

Do you see the difference?

HOMEWORK 

• Copy a scene from a story in the genre you write (preferably a book you love/admire) and highlight the inner thoughts. Do they move the story forward? Do they give you insight into the character and her goals? What do you like about them? What don’t you like? What do you notice about the amount of inner thoughts on a typical page (this is going to vary among genres)? Compare them to your writing. 

• Take a scene from your story and analyze each Motivation and subsequent Reaction. Is the reaction enough? Can you expand on it by combining more than one element (e.g. action and inner thought)?  What is your character thinking after the Motivation? Would it help your reader connect with your character if you wrote it down? (Write it down. You can go back later and trim if need be.) You’ll be surprise just how much you can strengthen the characterization by doing this exercise. Better yet, do it for the entire novel. Yes, it takes time, but it’s worth it if readers are struggling to connect with your character.

 

Stina Lindenblatt writes young adult novels. In her spare time, she’s a photographer and blogging addict, and can be found hanging out on her blog, Seeing Creative. 

 

Publishing Pulse for May 4th, 2012

 

Happy Star Wars Day from QueryTracker.net. 

May the 4th be with you!

New At QueryTracker:

Our website doesn't have any updates of awesomeness this week, but still make sure you double-check every agent's website or Publisher's Marketplace page before querying. Yes, it takes an extra few minutes. Yes, it's worth it.

If you're a QueryTracker premium member, then you can be notified whenever an agent or publisher is added or updates their profile.

Publishing News:

The Kindle Index, or how the entire ereader market is Apple's rounding error.

Meanwhile, Microsoft is investing $300million in Barnes & Noble's digital publishing.

Around the Blogosphere:

Jason Ashlock discusses how agents can begin thinking of themselves as business developers in a changing publishing field.

Check out Tolkien's ten tips for writers.

Janet Reid introduces a new agent at FinePrint Literary, Becky Vinter.

Kristin Nelson discusses why an agent won't take on any old thing just because it will sell.

Rachelle Gardner sends a message to a writer's Significant Other. (Good luck getting them to read it.)

Dystel and Goderich's blog encourages writers to send letters to the DOJ with their thoughts about the ebook pricing settlement.

Literary Quote of the Week:

What is wonderful about great literature is that it transforms the man who reads it 

towards the condition of the man who wrote. -E. M. Forster

That's all we have for now. Until next week, keep those queries flying!

---

Jane Lebak is the author of The Guardian (Thomas Nelson, 1994), Seven Archangels: Annihilation (Double-Edged Publishing, 2008) and The Boys Upstairs (MuseItUp, 2010). At Seven Angels, Four Kids, One Family, she blogs about what happens when a distracted daydreamer and a gamer geek attempt to raise four children. She is represented by the riveting Roseanne Wells of the Marianne Strong Literary Agency. Also, she's got a teensie little announcement today at her weblog, so stop by to share the fun.

Headlines and Hooklines: Writing a Press Release

Yesterday morning I thought I'd do something nice for my book…so I sent out my press release to almost a dozen newspapers around my area, hoping someone will pick up my story and run with it.

I know this sounds a little intimidating to novice writers (and perhaps a few not-so-novice ones as well.) Press releases sound like terribly official and extremely elevated forms of publicity. Celebrities and experts and gala events get press releases…not us.

But did you ever try writing one? It's really not that bad—and it can do your book a world of good.

A press release is free publicity.

Reporters for media outlets love them because they provide content. You, as a writer, should love press releases because they tell the audience exactly what you want them to know.

Even if you don't need a press release yet, it's a good writing exercise. We've practiced writing log lines and queries and elevator pitches. With that practice came ease and familiarity with simmering our 90k word masterpiece into pure concentrated glory. Use this as another writing exercise so, when the time comes to finally make an announcement, you can rip out a press release and send it to your editor so fast her head will spin.

Exercises like these often help writers find new focus in their manuscripts, as well. Writing a press release provides a sort of goal for the work-in-progress—how you want your book to be viewed once it's released into the world.

A Press Release is NOT an Advertisement.

The key to writing an effective press release is to keep in mind who your target is: the journalist.

Weird, right? It's not necessarily the publication's audience. Just as a query letter is designed to snare the agent, a press release is meant to snare the journalist and get him to explore your story further. A press release is a huge billboard that says THERE'S A GREAT STORY HERE! and it lures all the news-hungry journalists over to see what's going on.

Advertisements are for customers, not for journalists. Journalists aren't looking to shop—they are looking to write articles for their publication.

Never exaggerate or hard-sell your book. Write the press release as if you are an objective reporter who found a news-worthy topic. Share an overview of the book and a general bit about the author. Keep it clean, keep it short, and keep it sharp. Don't give a journalist the excuse to skim or, worse, pass on it.

Anatomy of a Press Release

Traditionally, a press release has a few main sections: the headline, the lead paragraph, the body, the boilerplate, and the close.

Headline: the title of your press release. This is the eye-catcher, the sparkling summary, the hook. Write it as you would a hook sentence. Inspire curiosity and an intense need to read further. You can also add a subhead, which is in smaller type below the headline. It's another sentence or two providing more information—and more hooks. They aren't always included but since this is an exercise for some of you, go the distance for extra credit. Make those hooks sharp.

Lead Paragraph: This should be informative, nothing more. This is the spot for the who-what-where-when of the press release. If you're promoting fiction, you have a little wiggle room. Make it interesting but make it tight.

Body: Use this paragraph to elaborate and support your news. Provide examples and author quotes and remember: you are still trying to sell this story to a journalist so write like one. Keep it clean of adjectives and sales pitches and puffed-up claims.

Boilerplate: otherwise known as the biographical section. Write a bio for yourself, much the same way you'd write in an agent query letter. Say good things about yourself, your accomplishments, or your relevant qualifications. Direct the audience to a website or point to other resources that might elaborate on the subject of your book. Again, keep it short (but make it sweet.)

Close: Your contact information. That way a reporter knows who to call to get his next story.

Additional Essential Elements

The press release also has two more details to include in order to maintain proper structure. I'll list the parts we already discussed and slip in the missing lines in bold face.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Headline

Subhead

Lead

Body

Biography

# # #

Close

Release Information: generally written as "for immediate release" but can also be altered to fit your needs by writing, for instance, "for release after XXX date".

# # #: Tells the reporter this is where the printable text ends.

That's all there is to it, folks. Use this template to plug in your information and away you go. You and your book are newsworthy!

Helpful Tips

There's a few extra nuggets of wisdom to remember.

• Use your headline as your email's subject line.

• Keep it to one page-- 400 to 500 words is the sweet spot.

• Write it in third person.

• Research your target publications and tailor the release to keep it audience-specific.
• Keep it factual. You sell yourself by giving the facts and making them interesting. No one wants fluff unless they are shopping for pillows.

• Cast a wide net—approach newspapers, online news publications, and radio stations. Can you think of other places that might promote you by reporting about your book?

That's really all it takes to write a successful press release. It's a unique writing exercise that gives us the opportunity to create another effective marketing tool for our books. There is a world full of free press out there—and now you know how to grab some of it.

(Of course, that means also means assembling an entirely new list: publications, news editors, radio stations…and, lest we forget, a new group of data for our obsessing needs. After all, QT habits die hard.)

Ash Krafton is a speculative fiction writer who resides in the heart of the Pennsylvania coal region, where she keeps the book jacket for "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" in a frame over her desk. Visit Ash's blog at www.ash-krafton.blogspot.com for news on her newly released urban fantasy "Bleeding Hearts: Book One of the Demimonde" (Pink Narcissus Press 2012).

Publishing Pulse for Friday April 27, 2012

Query Tracker Database Updates

Two agent profiles—Molly Lyons and Paige Wheeler--were updated this week. Please make sure you double-check every agent's website or Publisher's Marketplace page before querying. Also, a new publisher has been added to the QT database: Champagne Books.

If you'rea QueryTracker member (membership is free) then you can be notified whenever an agent or publisher is added or updates their profile.

Success Story

Congratulations to Jamie Wyman, whose success story can be read here.

To the Webs!


Ever wish you can go back and change your book after it had been released? Well, maybe you can. Read about one author's decision togo back and re-write the ending of her book after hearing what her readers had to say about the story. Elle Lothlorien suggests that indie publishing has fundamentally (and perhaps permanently) changed the dynamic between authors and readers.

Starting in early July, the whole Tor/Forge e-book catalog will be free of Digital Rights Management (DRM). What does that mean for readers—and other publishers? 

Do you make your characters bite their tongues because you're afraid of hate mail? Rachelle Gardner ponders whether a writer is responsible for the things a character says or does.

It's nearly fifty years since Whovians began their take-over of planet Earth. Dr. Who is the longest-running science fiction television series…safe to say, the writers know what they’re doing. Their secret to writing riveting episodes isn't smoke and mirrors, either. See why the doctor and his adventures are virtually timeless. You can use their tricks to e your own marketing strategies.

Many writers have turned to blogging to build their platform, attract their audiences, and vent about the crushing humanity of it all. But do all of them consider the long term effects of what they write?

Have a great weekend, everyone!


Ash Krafton is a speculative fiction writer who resides in the heart of the Pennsylvania coal region, where she keeps the book jacket for "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" in a frame over her desk. Visit Ash's blog at http://www.ash-krafton.blogspot.com/ for news on her newly released urban fantasy "Bleeding Hearts: Book One of the Demimonde" (Pink Narcissus Press 2012).

The exclusive query?

No, really. I saw this.

A writer on another forum asked about an agent who says she responds faster to queries if you write "Exclusive Query" in the subject line. The writer was interested in whether queriers actually abide by this.

I was able to track down the listing, and this is the second agent I've seen who mentions exclusive queries as if they're a desirable thing. This particular agent does not demand exclusivity (only rewards it); the other one demanded it.

Most agents feel differently:

https://twitter.com/#!/jsinsheim/status/194494383201067008

https://twitter.com/#!/jsinsheim/status/194494705642381314

Here's a thought: any agent who demands an exclusive query must feel confident that s/he is the very first agent you are going to query.  Otherwise, with agencies taking months to review queries, and writers sending out up to a hundred queries (not all at once, please!) and no-response-means-no, the agent would have to accept that s/he was probably your very last choice. By three months, after all the dust had settled.

So, what are exclusives? Some agents, when they request your full or partial, ask for the exclusive right to be the one and only agent reviewing your material. They generally set a time limit on how long that will be, and it's generally much shorter than the six months an agent might be expected to keep your full manuscript. This is fairly rare, but it does happen.

It's fine to tell the agent if you do not want to grant this (for example, if your manuscript is already in front of ten other agents.) Agents should be able to negotiate, right? If you don't want to grant an exclusive, you should also be up-front in stating that if you receive an offer, you will notify them immediately and give them a chance to respond before accepting. Be aware that some agents will rescind their request; others will allow you to submit on a non-exclusive basis. 

I would recommend against sending a query on an exclusive basis, especially in a climate where many agents never send rejection letters. Your query could be rejected in an hour, but you might wait for months. Months during which you could be seeking representation.

Here's another thought, from the inimitable Miss Snark, talking about exclusive submissions:

I NEVER ask for exclusives and most of my fellow agent buddies don't either. I figure if you want to work with me I'd better be able to tell you why I am a great agent for your book and what I bring to the table that those other sloths in the industry do not. I specifically do not want to sign anyone who hasn't queried elsewhere. That's the fastest way in the world to get a client with buyer's remorse the second something goes awry (and the first rule of publishing is that EVERYTHING goes awry).

If you query only one agent because that agent demands it, and you are offered representation, you'll never know what other agent interest your work would have garnered; you won't have been able to weigh the different kinds of agencies (a solo agent versus one in a large agency, for example) and you won't have been able to hear how different agents talk about their work. You'll lack perspective, in other words.

So let's say you're researching an agent and it turns out the agent wants an exclusive query. What should you do?

First, and most importantly, DO NOT tell the agent it is an exclusive query if it is not an exclusive query.  An author-agent relationship would ideally be career-long, and it should not begin with deception. Period.

(And think about it: a writer who lies about exclusivity is in a pickle if another agent makes an offer. What's the writer going to do? Dear Mr. Agent-Exclusive: I know I said you were the only one looking at my material, but a funny thing happened.... Sincerely, Liar-Writer. That's not how to increase membership in your personal fan club.)

Secondly, if the agent does not put a limit on the exclusivity, put one on it yourself. State in your query that the agent can consider this an exclusive query for one or two weeks (and then specify the ending date). If the "deal" is that exclusive queries get looked at faster, then it makes sense to advocate for yourself in this fashion.

Thirdly, be prepared that any request for materials will most likely also be on an exclusive basis.

Personally, I hope this kind of request doesn't become an industry standard. But remember, if you come across something like this, play smart. It's your time and your career: manage them wisely.

---

Jane Lebak is the author of The Guardian (Thomas Nelson, 1994), Seven Archangels: Annihilation (Double-Edged Publishing, 2008) and The Boys Upstairs (MuseItUp, 2010). At Seven Angels, Four Kids, One Family, she blogs about what happens when a distracted daydreamer and a gamer geek attempt to raise four children. She is represented by the riveting Roseanne Wells of the Marianne Strong Literary Agency.

A Scavenger Hunt In Reverse

One good thing about being a writer is you can talk about the best ways of burying bodies, and no one phones the local boys in blue.

(True story: I was knitting a sock at a writing convention when a woman said, "May I see?" Ordinarily I'd hand over the sock, but I was with other writers, so I handed over one of the double-pointed needles. The woman balanced it her hand, sighted along it, and said, "You could kill a man with this."  I replied, "I'd suggest a number five straight needle instead.")

There are better things to bury than bodies, however. Let's talk about burying details.

The details are where I have the most fun in my writing, and the majority of that fun happens in the editing phase. If you're one of those writers who hates editing, put down your number five straight needle and hear me out: most of the fun in an edit is the addition of depth.

Whether you're an outliner or a pantser, you don't know your main characters as well at the beginning of the book as you will at the end. That's just a factor of spending a hundred hours writing these guys. It's inevitable that as you go back through the book, you're going to find places where, early on, you just didn't know them as well and you glossed something which became more important later.

That's where it's fun. You find places to bury the details. You use that editorial needle and inject their deepest, most hidden motivations under the surface of the story. It emerges in one verb choice rather than another. In chapter three of the first draft, your MC is reading a book; now you'll know the title. In the first draft, your main character seems to have spent a lot of time looking at the moon; well, now you'll know why, and you can change the things she thinks while she gazes.

This phase is like a scavenger hunt in reverse. You know enough to go back and give the underlay. It's as if we need to know the contours of our characters before we can give them their bones.

Will every reader catch all these little moments? Of course not. In fact, I hope not. If someone does catch them all, you're not being subtle enough. But like real people, your characters will have thoughts and motives they're not aware they possess. There will be lies they believe, only they don't know either that they're lies or that they believe them. A lot of these details are there only for me, like a secret I'm telling myself. Why did Tabris look off at the trees when the other angels were joking about board games? A reader could figure it out, but most probably won't take the time.

In my own edits, my agent cautioned me that a certain change might be too much muddying of the character's motivation. I replied, "It's already there. It was already in her, and it took only a few changes in wording to evoke it."

In other words, sometimes you're not adding. You're just transforming potential into reality. You just needed to find it yourself before you could bury the clues for others.

In my sophomore year of college, my English professor spent the first ten minutes of class annoying the hell out of me. She was asking us why Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra was great literature, and no matter what answer we gave, it was wrong. Finally, I raised my hand. "Did you think it was great?" I said. (If you think I'm arrogant now, you really didn't want to know me in college.)  When she said yes, I said, "Why do you think it was great?"

She said, "Because it asks great questions."

A year later, another professor said that if you want people to talk about your work forever, leave a few unanswered questions. Leave them something to debate.

I'm not telling you how to get into the 2410 edition of the Norton Anthology. But I will tell you that if an agent or editor continues pondering your novel for days after finishing, you've got a better chance than if they close the book and never think of it again.

Not that you want to leave your story muddy. Instead, you want to leave us with the sense that all the answers are right there, right in our hands. That the characters, just like all the other people you know, are multifaceted and complex. That they resonate because of the many layers to their motivations, their thoughts, their decisions.

And so, without ever saying it explicitly, you convey that your character has a sweet tooth, or that she found a home base in her grandfather, or that he never feels entirely comfortable with the comfortable life he's inherited. Maybe she has an enigmatic tattoo you never fully explain. Maybe you never even tell us she has a tattoo, but her reaction to someone else's tells us she's got one somewhere under her clothes.

Editing isn't just fixing your errors. It's also fixing the underpinnings of your characters so that they resonate in our minds.

---

Jane Lebak is the author of The Guardian (Thomas Nelson, 1994), Seven Archangels: Annihilation (Double-Edged Publishing, 2008) and The Boys Upstairs (MuseItUp, 2010). At Seven Angels, Four Kids, One Family, she blogs about what happens when a distracted daydreamer and a gamer geek attempt to raise four children. She is represented by the riveting Roseanne Wells of the Marianne Strong Literary Agency.