One of the most common
reasons for rejecting a manuscript is when the agent or editor can’t connect
with the main character. Sometimes this is subjective; other times it’s not.
First you need a
multi-dimensional, sympathetic character. Next you need to examine your
Motivation Reaction Units (MRU). A Motivation can be an action, dialogue, or description
that leads your character to react.
For example, if you are walking toward your house and it explodes, the
exploding house is the Motivation. The
Reaction is what YOU do in response.
The intensity of
Reaction needs to match the intensity of the Motivation. If your house
explodes, you’ll likely react with more than a mere shrug. If the Motivation is
small and the Reaction is over the top, then you’ve got an issue with
melodrama.
Reaction can be
action, dialogue, visceral reactions (e.g. heart rate), and/or inner dialogue.
Visceral reactions (the body’s response that you can’t control) ALWAYS come
first. The rest is up to you and your genre. But if you’re finding you are getting
rejections because agents aren’t connecting with your character, you might want
to examine your inner dialogue. It might not be enough. Remember, though, it
needs to move the plot forward, not force it to sit still while your character
contemplates the non-relevant.
Read the following
three versions of an excerpt from In the
Dark of the Night by John Saul:
Version with no inner
thoughts
“Guess what I have!” Ellen demanded. “You’re
going to love it.” (Motivation)
Merrill’s eyes narrowed and she held out her
hand. “Give.” (Reaction)
Version with most of
the inner thoughts deleted
“Guess what I have!” Ellen demanded. “You’re
going to love it.” (Motivation)
Merrill’s eyes narrowed as she ran through the
possibilities, except that whatever it was was small enough to be held in one
hand. (Reaction)
Merrill held out her hand. “Give.” (Reaction)
Version from the novel
“Guess what I have!” Ellen demanded. “You’re
going to love it.” (Motivation)
Merrill’s eyes narrowed as she ran through the
possibilities. With Ellen, everything was always wonderful, and everyone was
always going to love everything, so she could be talking about almost anything.
Except that whatever it was was small enough to be held in one hand. (Reaction)
Ellen Newell’s hands, of course, were larger
than most, and stronger, too. Even though she was nowhere near her son’s size,
she was just as good an athlete as Kent, and could still beat him at tennis
without even breaking a sweat. If Ellen weren’t one of her best friends,
Merrill knew she could have hated her. As it was, Merrill just held out her
hand. “Give,” she said. (Reaction)
Do you see the
difference?
HOMEWORK
- Copy a scene from a story in the genre you write (preferably a book you love/admire) and highlight the inner thoughts. Do they move the story forward? Do they give you insight into the character and her goals? What do you like about them? What don’t you like? What do you notice about the amount of inner thoughts on a typical page (this is going to vary among genres)? Compare them to your writing.
- Take a scene from your story and analyze each Motivation and subsequent Reaction. Is the reaction enough? Can you expand on it by combining more than one element (e.g. action and inner thought)? What is your character thinking after the Motivation? Would it help your reader connect with your character if you wrote it down? (Write it down. You can go back later and trim if need be.) You’ll be surprise just how much you can strengthen the characterization by doing this exercise. Better yet, do it for the entire novel. Yes, it takes time, but it’s worth it if readers are struggling to connect with your character.
Stina Lindenblatt writes young adult
novels. In her spare time, she’s a photographer and blogging addict, and can be
found hanging out on her blog, Seeing Creative.
5 comments:
Great points Stina, as usual. And I loved how you showed it through your example.
Stina, you have helped me more than you know. This comes a t a time before querying and I need to do one more pass to make sure my characters connect. Love the example. :-)*waving*
Great post! The flip of a sympathetic character is a fascinating one. Hannibal Lecter, for example.
What an awesome post, Stina! Thanks. Great example on the house burning down.
I enjoyed this article immensely. I'll keep this in mind.
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